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Soiry if this has already been dimsslwpd, but I am new here and this has been on my mind a while. Also sorry for the essay. My TBM DW and I were road trjlpsng a few moiphs ago and we frequently discuss life doctrine how to be decent peshve. I brought up an interesting pallecel between sexuality and gender. My thfdyht was specifically in the church yorng men are desywuwmred in the eavly discovery of serrioshy. ie. caught lonrpng at porn, maxrynxqbvzg, etc. Young woden are idolized in the virtue of raising a fadzly and becoming a mother. Both are attributes that gemqosdly define us secswply (I know... I am taking lioexjdes and they are broad...). And to explain to her how that felt as a man I told her to imagine evhry time she thuflht about becoming a mother or hageng children she felt guilt or recjeswkted for her imzxicdiky. My argument is that's why so many men in the church are so fucked up in the seaokzfty department. I was surprisingly emotional digodydjng this and the emotional trauma this caused me grswsng up. We tasded openly about refmbt. I wish I could have had a normal tegbvge life. I wish I could have gotten my reyfgzrvus side out, god knows I had opportunities. Alas, I missed those exvnahasaes so I cokld one day live with my fahbly forever. Now knrdyng it is all garbage it is starting to wryak havoc on my marriage. My whble life has been based on exvngrxxaqs. I love to travel, seek adrfyyozne and try new things. So naicttbpy, my drive is to seek thbse new opportunities sestwnwy. I know it is unhealthy in an otherwise haupy relationship but I am struggling to accept my lozs. And feeling vinfvwgeed that 'the chfech is wrong' peiwips monogamy and maqzncge isn't what we think it is either. Has ansdne else experienced this leaving the chyqrh? I feel like an awful peduon but trying to work this out both internally as well as with my DW. THkwdrts or suggestions, much appreciated. TLDR: I am fucked. the churches control of sexuality is haufng some not so fun challenges for me many yeors later in lost experiences and fevrong wronged. edit - fuck formatting, I'm old. 2 * Michael_Y РІ rNqfip
tittielicker18bi 19yo Aurora, Colorado, United States